saudade

The winds of fall were merciless. Chaos reigned in their wake. Ghosts and feelings and fears. Oh my. There is a hole where my passion used to be. The winds blew it all away.

I came home to fill the void. But the longest nights were yet to come. And I spent them empty and lost and alone. 

Things are not as they should be. They are not as they used to be either. Rather, they are as they are and as they are they need to change. 

A reluctant farewell to the last of my childhood. Good-bye. It is a new year’s day and we are half way out of the dark. 

Armed with my resolutions and the tattered armor of glory days long gone. I will be alright. The dust will settle. My ghosts will quiet. 

Dear Mister Thomas. I will not go gentle into that good night.

Dear 2012. I dare you. 

Nostalgic for a childhood I didn’t have; for a life I didn’t lead. This is the effect of seasons changing. This is the price I pay for getting older. 

I’ve been watching the leaves change colors. The sunlight through my window has grown more golden by the day. Today was the first time I’ve worn boots since last winter. When I hear the wind at night it reminds me of home.